Once you know yourself, nobody can make you feel insecure, knowing yourself is a blessing.
From Recovery to Relapse
From 1 to 7
Recovery: Nothing is free in this life, you have to expose all the secrets, it is true, it takes courage, and faith, after all you created all this pain, and fear. Fear does not allow to have a little wisdom, you have to be open with people specially yourself, in the process you will create more enemies, but in the long run you will be free, it takes time and courage.
In recovery you will be able to identify your fears, and feelings.
You have to tell the truth, telling the truth has to be more important than anything, and continue Telling the truth, soon enough the pain and the fear will be over, and that is the only way to be happy .
It is painful exposing secrets, but at the end you will be happy.
If you don’t identify your feelings and fears, you will end it up in another place.
Forget Priorities: You are in denial, you don’t want to admit any mistakes, of course you continue with the secrets, deeper secrets, you tend to have superficial conversation, you become sarcastic, you start pushing people away, you isolate yourself.
Anxiety: You go from one worry to another, that is base on fear, you start replaying old thoughts, using profanity, being resentful, you become a perfectionist, judging others specially the people you love the most, and creating drama, Drama Queen.
Speeding up: You start becoming depressed, that is too much guilt and anger inside in which is base on fear, once again because of the secrets that you have been keeping. You start becoming busy, workaholic, you don’t want people to know the real you , your mood change, you tend to over spend, thinking negative, drinking too much coffee, and difficult to listen to others.
It does not get better
Ticked off: You start becoming angry, black or white, all or nothing thinking, start feeling alone, once again you isolate yourself because you don’t want anybody to know your secrets, nobody understand, you start overreacting for a little thing, blaming everyone, arguing, you can’t take criticism, defensive, having to be right, and you can’t forgive others including yourself.
Exhausted: You are running out of gas, depressed, confused, hopeless, you don’t know yourself, you are sleeping too much or too little, you start craving for old behavior, you start thinking of using alcohol, drugs, you stop going to meetings, and finally.
Relapse: You are returning to the place you promise yourself that you would never go again, you are lost in your adiction.
Lying to others, and to yourself It could create lot of pain in your life.
Doing the same thing and expecting different result, it is a sign of insanity, it is insane.